Rewinding a few weeks back to Charlotte and my week in VA Beach - it was awesome. It went by too quickly honestly and I did not feel rested afterwards, but it wasn't a "vacation" for resting. Getting to meet my niece Hannah was such a wonderful experience. Another human being, a person, is on this earth because my sister and brother in law created her. The miracle of life is so amazing and so humbling to witness - though I wasn't able to be there for her birth - meeting her was so special. I can't wait to see her again and watch her grow up. What an honor. The amount of love we have for that child is immeasurable. I swear, just when you think your heart can't hold anymore love another child is born and it grows exponentially.
So growing up, my sister and I talked about the lives we would lead. I don't remember discussing jobs or anything like that. I do remember talking about how many kids we would have. My sister always said she wanted like ten kids. I couldn't imagine then and I cannot imagine now. LOL. I think we'll be stopping after two, maybe three, we'll see. While I cannot speak for their family plans, my sister now has two beautiful daughters and seeing our children play together is a form of happiness I could never have imagined! It was rough at times - they're 9 and 18 months so of course its going to be rough. But I think they did a really great job playing together and I know that as they get older they're going to be great friends!
Watching and monitoring Kate and Charlotte play made me almost forget what we were there for, to meet Hannah! Squishy as she is called is just that, a squishy little newborn who sleeps, eats, and poops over and over again. Comparing the two toddlers (well, one almost toddler) playing, always moving, screaming, crying, and needing constant attention to the sleeping newborn I had to laugh at myself from 9 months ago. How did I think that was hard? Why did I lose my mind so often?
While the comparison is rough and laughable to me now it really was a hard time in my life - understandably! I had to remind myself that I've had 9 months now of adjusting, learning a new schedule and a new person! and getting used to being a mother. The newborn stage is so challenging for so many reasons - especially with your first because you're completely changing your life. I can't imagine what it's like with the second. You finally get things into a routine and feel comfortable and confident with your parenting skills then you throw in another helpless being and your life changes again! I guess that's parenting though...as I've said before, I truly think the only constant in parenting is change. Bless my sister for her strength - she makes it look easy - she's got an 18 month old and a newborn and she makes it look easy. I'm not saying she's perfect or has all of it together - she's told me it's hard and I believe it her. But I also think that sometimes I see my big sister through rose colored glasses - she's my big sister and she always does it right, right?
My sister has a confidence to her that I rarely see in other people. I see it in my Dad and his mother also, I guess it's a family trait that skipped me... but anyway - it inspires me. I got to watch her for a week with two kids and I learned a lot. Mostly, to stop questioning myself so much. To trust my instincts more, to trust that what I'm doing is enough and that my child is healthy and happy and that's what matters. It's not about what you're "supposed" to do or what Pinterest says happy kids look like, eat like, dress like, or act like. My sister does a good job in reminding me that I don't need to meet these imaginary standards that I hold myself to in a lot of different aspects of life, and apparently parenting is just another one of those.
Both my sister and her husband helped me into sleep training. The week before this trip, Rita, our baby sitter, told me that at nap time she just puts Charlotte in her pack n play - awake but tired - leaves and she goes to sleep on her own. No crying, nothing! I was baffled when she told me this, my daughter is not a go to sleep on her own kind of girl - at least she wasn't for me! So during my week with my sister, her and Justin gave me the encouragement I needed to do just that. We started at nap time and eventually she did the same thing for me - she went to sleep on her own!
That has progressed this week to bed time - and getting her to sleep in her crib!!!!! There are not enough exclamation points for how excited I am about this. The past two nights Charlotte has slept in her crib ALL NIGHT. She woke up a few times and I went in to comfort her a few times (probably 4 or 5 times total) the first night with lots of tears (on both our parts!). But last night I only had to go in her room once! ONE TIME ALL NIGHT! She did wake a few other times, but only fussed for a few minutes and put herself back to sleep. She did not need to be nursed, rocked, or picked up and I didn't do any of those things. Just a little kiss on the forehead, laid her back down, shushed her, gave her her paci and back out of the room I went. And back to sleep she went!! I seriously could not be more excited about this. I hope that this continues to be the case even when our schedules are off a bit - like tonight when we go up to my parents for dinner and will inevitably miss her bath time/bedtime routine....so cross your fingers for us for tonight! and have a happy weekend!
I'll be back next week with more updates!
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