So, here I am, 20 weeks preggo with baby number 2. I cannot believe it. While this is a big milestone in this pregnancy and I feel like we're going to be meeting this kiddo SO SOON, I also feel like 20 more weeks is going to last for-ev-er. On this note though, I am most definitely finally feeling pregnant. My regular pants don't fit anymore (even with button extenders), I can't really eat much in the mornings (still) but by 11am I'm starving, case in point I'm sitting here with two chocolate donuts and they are disappearing very quickly..., the baby is kicking pretty regularly, I think I've actually hit my "nesting" stage pretty early on (yay!) and my emotions are OVERWHELMING. Which is what I want to vent about today. I'll post an update on week 20 of the pregnancy tomorrow (after my ultrasound wherein we may or may not find out this baby's gender!)
As you may have heard, there are a lot of bad things happening in the world right now. I know, not like that's a new thing but I digress..I typically like to remain blissfully ignorant to all things news related and do a pretty good job of it. However, with my friends and family it's hard to do so and sometimes I question why I choose to ignore and stay out of those conversations, etc. I wonder if I'm being childlike and if it's time for me to step up and become aware, get involved, and pay attention to what's going on in the world in which I live.
At the end of last week I signed up for a "light" version of news to be emailed to me every day so that I can start getting a little bit of information on the big headlines instead of watching/reading all of the news out there and overwhelming myself. So far, I've enjoyed that little tidbit each morning - it gives me the highlights and I feel like I'm not completely out of the loop. Win.
Yesterday, I made the mistake of looking at a photo album on Facebook that showed where young refugees sleep and briefly told their heartbreaking stories. Fail.
The flood gates opened and I literally could not stop crying. My heart broke wide open. Not only for these poor children and their families going through such a terrible ordeal. But for all of the hearts of the rest of the human beings around the world who are choosing hate, blame, and fear instead of understanding, love, and compassion. I am just baffled. I know it's not that easy, nothing ever is. And I know I don't have the answers. Which made me cry even harder. All I could think was, who do I call to tell them that we'll take in a few families, they can stay with us!
I mean really, here we are in the midst of holiday shopping, "stressing" over how many toys to buy our kids, what gifts to get our parents or significant others, and whose going to make the pie for Thanksgiving dinner. We're celebrating baby's birthdays and throwing big parties, attending weddings, and celebrating with our friends. All the while, there are men, women, and children, LITTLE BABIES all over the world who don't even have a pillow to sleep with, who go to bed hungry because they don't have food, who are sick but don't have medicine to get better, who have nightmares about seeing their families die and are afraid to go to sleep because of bombs going off when they go to bed.
Yet - here we are in all our day to day monotony and we can't stop to realize how AMAZING our lives are, how LUCKY we are to be in the situation we were born into. And still, everyone seems to think that the answer is to perpetuate the hate, perpetuate the blame, perpetuate the terror. I truly don't understand how religion even comes into play here. We are all humans, and those of us who can help, should help. Period. End of story. The way we are acting - refusing to help others in their time of need - to me - means that the terrorist have won. We're afraid. And we're not brave enough to be good people because of that. They've won. And it breaks my heart.
So, I took the day yesterday thinking about all of these things, thinking about how small I am and how I feel like I can't make a difference. That there's nothing I can do to change the mind of those whose hearts are full of hate and fear. But there just may be. I think the best thing that I can do is to keep loving. To show people that Love is the answer. To teach my children to have open hearts and open minds. I'll be taking this to heart - not like I did yesterday to the extreme of feeling worthless and powerless - but as a reminder every day that our actions do matter. Even in our tiny lives- we can help others. I will be starting some research and discussing with my husband how we can make an impact on others lives through charities, etc. and I will be sure to post here our plans and actions going forward.
